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Don’t call me beautiful.

Tonight, Anderson Cooper featured some of the moms from “Toddlers and Tiaras” on his Ridiculist. Granted… that’s a pretty easy call. I wonder how these folks can stand to watch themselves on TV. I’m kinda embarassed for them, even tho I doubt that they’re embarassed by much of anything, considering that they signed a release to show the world how they treat their kids… all so that someone else will call their kid “beautiful.”

And while the Ridiculist was still playing, I happened to click through to a blog post from a pastor who says that women need to hear the words “You Are Beautiful” every day.


Now, in that pastor’s defense, he wasn’t just talking about beauty pageant beauty, but the inner beauty that everyone has because they were created in God’s image. But honestly… I can live a very happy life without ever hearing the words “You Are Beautiful.” Partly, that’s because “you are beautiful” is a trite and often insincere statement from folks who think they are supposed to say it, or (worse) from folks who hope to gain something from you by saying it. And I realize that’s not always the case: I go to a church where every male leader takes every possible opportunity to publically call his wife beautiful from the pulpit, and I’m sure they’re sincere & say it as a high compliment.

But don’t call me beautiful.

“Beautiful” has nothing to do with who I am, my character, my creativity, my intelligence, my integrity, my abilities. We praise men for these characteristics, things that are more than just skin deep. That’s what I want. That’s what I can’t live without. If you’re going to praise me, praise me for the same things that the Proverbs 31 woman is praised for: trustworthiness, business skills and savvy, productivity, generosity, humor, and wisdom (to name a few).

Don’t call me beautiful. Beauty is vain. But a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

One Response to “Don’t call me beautiful.”

  • The Flamingo says:

    This is a tough one. I admit it would be nice to hear I’m beautiful from my husband in some other context than, “You sure look beautiful . . . today.” I’ve always told Flamingo Joe that it’s a good thing I don’t rely on him for my self-esteem. But it’s true that my self-worth comes from Christ and who He is making me to be — and I praise God for that because I see the harm in relying on others to tell you you’re beautiful.